Skip to main content

Repost : Saya Menyesal Menjadi Seorang Pendaki

“Saya menyesal menjadi pendaki.....”, kata dia dengan wajah tertunduk.

“Saya menyesal meninggalkan pekerjaan saya berjualan di Pasar Baru hanya untuk menuruti ego saya mendaki gunung-gunung. Sekarang ya cuma jadi gini-gini aja mas, jalan kesana kemari nyari setoran.”

Lelaki itu menceritakan biografi singkatnya kepadaku saat kami bertemu di atas angkot jurusan Leuwi Panjang – Pasar Caringin Bandung. Umurnya sekitar 40 tahunan. Terlihat di tangan kanannya menggenggam banyak uang seribuan/dua ribuan. Aku tak sempat bertanya apa profesinya karena pertemuan itupun tak sengaja. Kalau dilihat penampilannya, bisa jadi dia adalah seorang tukang parkir, kenek angkot, pak ogah pengatur jalanan, atau bahkan Preman? Ah sudahlah. Dia naik angkot beberapa menit setelah aku naik angkot dari Leuwi Panjang.

Awalnya dia memperhatikan bawaanku dengan seksama. Tas besar yang menjulang ke atas. Matanya yang nanar melihat ke arahku cukup lama. Jika dia macam-macam, kepalan tanganku ini sudah cukup siap untuk mendarat di ubun-ubunnya. Meski masih tergolong pagi buta, Bandung sekitar jalanan yang dilewati angkot itu cukup ramai.

“Mau naik atau udah turun gunung Mas?” Lelaki itu memulai pembicaraan.

“Iya Mas, ini mau naik” jawabku. Suasana sudah mulai cair tapi masih tersimpan pertanyaan di batinku bagaimana bisa dia tahu.

“Oh... Saya dulu waktu muda juga sering naik Mas. Gunung favorit Papandayan. Kalau dihitung-hitung ada 19 kali naik Gunung itu. Sampai kami pernah buka jalur dari Bandung sampai Tegal Alun.”

“Tapi saya kurang bisa menahan ego. Hobi sih hobi, tapi saya melupakan kewajiban utama saya. Saya tinggalkan lapak jualan di Pasar Baru waktu itu demi memenuhi hasrat untuk mendaki gunung. Sekarang ya cuma jadi gini-gini aja mas, jalan kesana kemari nyari setoran. Udah jarang lagi naik karena sudah punya kerepotan lain bersama anak-istri”, tambah lelaki itu dengan wajah penyesalan.

“Saya menyesal menjadi pendaki yang tidak bisa membedakan antara kewajiban dan hobi”, kata dia dengan wajah tertunduk.

Di dalam angkot itu, seolah tas kerilku yang menjulang ini mengingatkan masa mudanya. Lamunan sesaatnya masih nanar, tampak penyesalan yang sangat mendalam. Padahal, awal ketika dia bercerita selalu ceria. Andaikan dia tak mampu menahan rasa emosinya, sudah berjatuhan air matanya ke tempat duduk angkot.

Perjumpaan singkat ini harus berakhir di depan Pasar Caringin. Aku segera bergegas keluar angkot sambil mengucap salam pada lelaki itu. Silaturahmi ini mengalir adanya, tanpa tahu siapa nama bapak itu, pekerjaan, alamat dan lainnya. Hanya saja masih terlhat jelas wajah sedihnya dibalik kaca angkot, ketika kulambaikan tangan kepadanya.

‘’Pahami posisi anda. Jangan membabi buta melakukan sesuatu yang menyenangkan tetapi melupakan kewajiban utama. Boleh bersenang-senang tapi harus sesuai porsi, posisi dan kondisi”

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Power Imbalance When a Diplomat Dates You

  I never imagined that I would find myself entangled in a relationship with a man who held the title of diplomat . There is something inherently powerful about that word — a sense of nobility, intelligence, and integrity. For someone like me, who has always prided herself on being independent, educated, and emotionally resilient, the connection initially felt affirming. I thought, perhaps, I had finally found someone who could walk beside me as an equal. But what I didn’t realize at the time was how easily a title can conceal deeper truths — emotional manipulation , power imbalances, and an unspoken hierarchy that slowly erodes one’s sense of reality. Our story began online, like many modern romances. Joel Runnels introduced himself as a diplomat stationed in Central Asia , working in human rights advocacy . From the beginning, our conversations were intense and intellectually stimulating. He spoke about his work with disabled communities, policy reform, and global diplomacy. The...

When He’s a Different Person Behind Closed Doors

  You’ve probably never heard of Joel Runnels PhD — but in certain circles in Minnesota, he’s considered a quiet hero. A legislative affairs director who has dedicated decades of his professional life to disability rights and working for Minnesota Council on Disability , Joel is the kind of man who shows up at public hearings, writes compassionate policy briefs, and speaks with moral authority about equity, justice, and the need to protect society’s most vulnerable. He works closely with the Deaf community , disabled children, and families who rely on state policy to survive. But I knew another Joel. One who existed far away from the polished conference tables and media headlines. One whose mask would fall the moment the doors closed. And I’m finally ready to talk about him. This isn’t an exposé for the sake of revenge. This is my truth — and it’s also a mirror. Because too often, the people we are told to admire and trust the most are the very ones causing silent destruction behin...

When Silence Becomes Complicity: The Ethical Reckoning of Joel Runnels, PhD, and the Institutions That Enabled Him

  This article is a personal reflection and should not be interpreted as a legal complaint or formal accusation. It draws on lived experience and publicly available guidelines to spark conversation about ethical accountability in public leadership roles. 1. Introduction: More Than a Personal Story This is not about romance gone wrong. It’s about institutional complicity, the power of titles, and what happens when ethics fall silent in the face of wrongdoing. Joel Benjamin Runnels, PhD — former USAID officer and U.S. diplomat, now Legislative Affairs Director at the Minnesota Council on Disability — has been linked by multiple women across Ghana, Jamaica, Kenya, and Uzbekistan to patterns of emotional manipulation, abandonment, and misuse of diplomatic status. He now serves in a publicly accountable position funded by taxpayer dollars, advocating for marginalized communities. How did these allegations escape scrutiny during vetting? And what does it say about faith in institutions w...