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Menghabiskan Jatah Gagal



Sepuluh tahun yang lalu saya bermimpi bahwa pada titik usia selepas 25 saya menjalani hidup yang ideal sudah memiliki rumah, kendaraan pribadi, berkeluarga, mempunyai karier yang bagus. Tapi mimpi memang selalu indah untuk dijalani. Pada akhirnya kehidupan manusia dewasa selalu mengenyampingkan mimpi dan idealisme dan selalu ada ucapan "Udah jangan ngoyo, jalanin aja yang ada". Seolah kita dilarang bermimpi kembali...

 Refleksi mengenai kehidupan saya pribadi saat ini menjelang usia 27 tahun saya sendiri masih berjibaku dengan tugas sebagai mahasiswa akhir untuk merampungkan tesis saya yang sudah telat lulus alias hampir DO jika tahun depan ingin tidak selesai, dan masih hidup dikosan serta belum berkeluarga. Hingga saya malah keluar dari pekerjaan saya. Bukan kehidupan sempurna bukan untuk dijalani ?. Masih tahap merangkak dan meniti.

 Pernah merasa ada di titik kok temen-temen saya udah pada nikah, udah punya kerjaan dan karier settled, udah punya keluarga kecil. Dan kok saya gini-gini aja? pernah ngerasa jadi looser dan kok gini amet hidup gue?. Saya sering, kamu? Merasa diunderestimate, merasa use less, dan merasa-merasa rendah lainnya.

 Hidup cuma satu kali bukan? bukankah kita harus memanfaatkan waktu semaksimal mungkin dan berusaha sebaik mungkin. Dan buat hidup kamu ga biasa aja, kamu harus berani bermimpi. Mimpi aja dulu, ngayal aja dulu dan jangan pernah takut jatuh. Setidaknya kamu mimpi aja dulu buat nyemangatin kamu, buat kamu tahu tiap hari kamu bangun itu ada hal yang harus kamu kejer. Kamu tahu hidup kamu buat apa, hiduplah dengan penuh mimpi dan ambisi. 

 Saya selalu dicap sebagai orang yang tidak realistis dan pemimpi. Tapi saya selalu membuktikan cibiran orang bahwa saya lebih capable dari mereka yang sama sekali takut bermimpi. Saya sering dibilangin, "Udah jangan mimpi ketinggian jalanin aja dulu apa yang ada depan mata". That is true that we have to be focus for today so that we have to get planning and organizing before we do action right ?

 Biarkanlah mereka mencibir apa yang menjadi mimpi kita, biarlah kita tetap bahagia dengan segala ambisi kita. Toh mendengarkan masukan orang lain penting, tapi bukan berarti mereka akan menjadi driver bagi kehidupan kita. Bebaskanlah segala ambisi liarmu, lakukanlah hal yang ingin kamu lakukan tanpa kamu takut melangkah, meskipun pada akhirnya kamu akan menjadi single fighter. Melajulah dan berlayarlah. Pergi sejauh mungkin selama kamu bisa, lakukanlah hal gila yang ingin kamu lakukan. Jangan terkungkung dengan keterbatas. Habiskan jatah gagalmu selama kamu masih sendiri dan single. Jangan buat kamu menyesal dengan kehidupan kamu dengan tidak melakukan apapun. Dan teruslah bermimpi tanpa ragu...

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