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The Power Imbalance When a Diplomat Dates You

  I never imagined that I would find myself entangled in a relationship with a man who held the title of diplomat . There is something inherently powerful about that word — a sense of nobility, intelligence, and integrity. For someone like me, who has always prided herself on being independent, educated, and emotionally resilient, the connection initially felt affirming. I thought, perhaps, I had finally found someone who could walk beside me as an equal. But what I didn’t realize at the time was how easily a title can conceal deeper truths — emotional manipulation , power imbalances, and an unspoken hierarchy that slowly erodes one’s sense of reality. Our story began online, like many modern romances. Joel Runnels introduced himself as a diplomat stationed in Central Asia , working in human rights advocacy . From the beginning, our conversations were intense and intellectually stimulating. He spoke about his work with disabled communities, policy reform, and global diplomacy. The...
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Why Narcissists Like Joel Runnels Target Educated, Independent Women in Their 30s–40s — And Why Even the Smartest Can Fall

  I never imagined I’d be writing about this, but here I am — not because I’m stuck in the pain, but because I’ve learned enough to recognize the pattern. This isn’t just my story; it’s a mirror reflecting something much bigger, something many women live through in silence: the calculated targeting of smart, successful, emotionally intelligent women by manipulative, narcissistic men . Men like Joel Runnels . Let me first break a stereotype. We often hear, “But she’s smart. She should have known better.” As if intelligence alone inoculates someone from emotional abuse . As if having a successful career, a master’s degree, or a world-traveling lifestyle somehow guarantees immunity from betrayal. The truth is, it doesn’t. In fact, those very qualities make you more appealing to predators like Joel. Women in their 30s to 40s are often entering a new chapter in life. Many have built careers, survived heartbreak, grown wiser. They are not looking for casual hookups — they want emotional ...

What Kind of Father Are You, Joel Runnels, PhD?

  This is not a smear campaign. This is not revenge. This is not bitterness dressed as a blog post. This is a reckoning — a long-overdue moment of truth that refuses to stay silent any longer. I’ve rewritten this a hundred times in my head, tried to keep it diplomatic, balanced, fair — just like you taught me to speak, Joel. You, the diplomat. You, the man with perfect posture and practiced charm, who knows how to say all the right things about justice and healing, even as you leave behind an invisible trail of heartbreak, confusion, and erasure. This time, I will speak my way. Fully. Honestly. Loudly. Let’s begin with the present. With Minnesota . With the current you — Joel Benjamin Runnels, PhD, Legislative Affairs Director at the Minnesota Council on Disability , a man reportedly considering a run for Senate. A man who speaks on equity, who attends diversity forums, who has built his image on being a protector of marginalized voices. A man who tells people he is spiritual, sens...

The Diplomat Who Called Me a Liar: A Letter to Joel Runnels PhD, and Every Man Who Thought I’d Stay Silent

  “ You’re fake. ” “ You’re a fraud .” “ You hate me .” Those weren’t the words of an anonymous troll. They were said by a U.S. diplomat. A father. A PhD holder. An officer of education. A man who spent his career “empowering others” while privately disempowering the very women he claimed to respect. His name is  Joel Benjamin Runnels PhD . And this is not just about him. This is about  what happens when a woman who knows how to speak is told to shut up. The Performance of the “Good Man” Joel isn’t just a man. He is an institution. A face for youth development. A mouthpiece for international diplomacy. A man who walks into conferences and shakes hands with world leaders. A man whose title commands trust — whose silence creates wounds. And yet… He pursued me like he had no strings. Told me I was different. That he had been waiting for someone like me. That he had never felt this way. Every single day he messaged me — until the day I questioned him. He told me he was single...